High Conflict People

High Conflict People

by Bill Eddy June 2011

Mediate.com

High conflict people (HCPs) are highly defensive, preoccupied with blaming others, and desperate to receive validation for themselves. These characteristics may be part of their personalities, in which case they bring this defensiveness with them everywhere they go. In some cases, both parties are HCPs, while in others one party is stuck in this defensiveness and the other is reasonable some or much of the time.

During a conflict, the process of decision-making brings out defensive traits, so that the successful mediator must do as much as possible to defuse this defensiveness in order to assist the parties in making their own decisions. It is natural for mediators to get "emotionally hooked" and escalate the dispute by becoming over- controlling and feeling responsible for the outcome, but this feeling can be overcome by reminding yourself: "You're not responsible for the outcome." "It's not about you." "Don't work harder than your clients." "It's another dilemma for the parties to resolve." The following four tips can help the process.

Read the tips at: http://www.mediate.com/articles/EddyB7.cfm

"Peace"